A year ago, today, I made the decision to lose weight - I knew I'd gained a lot of weight over Christmas, so on the 1st of January I made a 'resolution' to try and get a bit fitter, but I sort of felt at the back of my mind that it wouldn't really stick. Stupid, I know. But then I had one of those 'light-bulb moments' - I was on a mini-break in Scotland with my friend, and I was struggling to keep up with her. I kept blaming it on my shoes, on the cobbles, on the Edinburgh hills, but really it was my bad health and I just wanted to be able to do the things that she did so easily.
I've had a life-long struggle with weight which I've started to document here, but something about this realisation felt pretty permanent. I made a note to myself, on my phone, that I have saved to this day, on the 12th of January at 23:59PM, that was a little reminder of how shit I felt, about my health, and how I needed to do something about it.
The next day, I came home from Edinburgh and I joined my local Curves gym - I'd been there before, and I really enjoy the women-only nature of it all, and how it suits my lifestyle - a 30 minute work-out is easy to fit in, the girls there are so lovely and genuine, and there is just no judgement involved. I've ventured into regular gyms before, and I won't lie, I don't like being around men in that environment, it makes me uncomfortable. Me and my mum got out our recipe books, and sat down and made plans, talked about what we could have for lunch and how to keep motivated, how to make our own recipes healthier. I didn't stop baking, either, there's been plenty of that on this blog this year!
But, somehow, all of it worked...
I say that like I shed 6-stone overnight, which I in no-way did, and I'm still losing weight now, still want to lose a lot more. But I'm still sort of shocked, I'll be honest, that I enjoy eating healthier and losing weight, that yesterday I willingly went for a run in the freezing cold wind with a bit of a hangover...
It's really hard work, but it's really interesting also, to see how your body changes and your strength improves, how your attitudes towards things change, and how you realise you can do a lot more than you ever thought you could. My first run yesterday was horrible and so bad, and I had to walk a lot of it, but I think about that first work-out I did when I got back from Scotland and how I was so red and sweaty and unable to move the next day, from something that is now just part of my routine... and I think maybe in another year, I'll be able to run a 5k. In 2 years I'll be to run a 10k, or more. In 3 years I could be so freaking strong, I could be a machine! Just kidding, sort of, but hopefully you get the point!
So, if you think that new years resolutions don't work, or that you could never make that big of a lifestyle change and have it stick, then maybe rethink that shit, because it's so fucking cool to know what your body can do and to learn your limits.
[Side note: I know these pictures aren't the best before and after photos, but this isn't really about that. Also, this isn't even an after photo, it's just a photo of me, a bit less heavy and a lot healthier! And I know that these kind of photos can be triggering, so I apologise for that, too. I'm also making a very stupid face in the second photo, but I wanted to get this post up, and also, do you like my new sweater? Got it in the sale!]